Remember that old VBS song? I’m happy today, oh yes, I’m happy today….
Well that’s me, do you know why? Because my kids are GOING BACK TO SCHOOL !
They have reached the end of their snow days, any more days equal minutes and hours that will be made up in their classrooms, their silly mid-winter break has come to an end… I am excited to see if we can get in a full week of school sometime in the near future.
As I was trotting around, whistling and serving cereal with a smile, Kaia says, Jeez mom, we get it, you don’t have to be so harsh.
Oh my dear child.
You do NOT get it.
I feel like I am Frodo and we are making this arduous journey, and all you guys can talk about is second breakfast. For realz.
But I was not meant to be a stay at home mom. I knew this, have always known this. Those ladies are super-heroes. I know that I could not do the job that they do, I’d be the mom still her jammies when the kids get off the bus, dishes still in the sink, the previous night’s pajamas still scattered around the house like a small cloth tornado. I would READ a lot. Maybe write. Take naps. I truly am that lazy. I would not be “running errands”, picking up the dry cleaning, cooking forty meals in an afternoon to freeze… I avoid errands at all costs. I don’t buy clothes that need to be dry cleaned for the very reason that I don’t like running errands. I one time froze some soup and ended up throwing it away when we moved seven years later.
Would I love to have the kids go to school and be able to volunteer all over the place instead of working? SURE. That would be a dream come true, but I know that I am not the home-school kind of mom, the stay at home, the do all the things sort of mom. I work from home and usually can’t (won’t) do even half the things, I’m scrambling at 2 to get the dishes done and hide all the dirty laundry I did not wash. Hey, I’m sorry, but we strive for honesty. We are wanna be followers of Momastery, truth tellers and hope spreaders. And today there is HOPE!
Today, dear ones, I will brush your hairs, let you shout and gesture while you brush your teeth (because this brings out the violent side of their personalities for some reason), I will pick out the CUTEST outfits. Stuff your backpacks with all that glorious going outside gear and your snack and your books. I will gladly endure the drop off line, the rules of traffic suspended minutes, I will not shout at the people who ignore stop signs and right of way, I will smile and wave! Sure! Cut me off! Sure! Run that stop sign, I’m paying attention, I’ll wait! My kids are AT SCHOOL !!!!! We can sing in the car, any song you want granted it is no longer than the four minutes it takes to get to school. Child, I will drive through a blizzard, take you anywhere you need to go as long as it is not HERE.
My children are loved by their teachers, they are good citizens, solid contributors. They work hard, they are good friends, kind and wise. They obey, they never get into trouble. But they come home and throw off that facade. I have endured four and half days of shrieking, whining, crying and fighting. Kaia looked at me mean! Avery kicked over my Lego house! Kaia didn’t wait for me to go into the kitchen first! MOOM, can we eat again? Avery bit me! MOOM, have you seen my snowpants? Pacino scratched me when I tried to put a doll nightgown on him! You’re the meanest mother in the world! But I don’t have to go to school tomorrow and it’s only 10pm, why do I have to go to bed?? On and on and on. I have not actually spoken more than ten words to my husband without being interrupted, bumped into, stepped on or sat on. I have not had a shower longer than four minutes. My kitchen perpetually looks like a pack of raccoons have broken in, cupboards hanging open, bread bags on the floor, peanut butter smeared on the counter. Yesterday they somehow managed to drop a brand new, OPEN jar of mayo. Kaia said, she was coming at me mom, I didn’t know what to do so I panicked.
I have gone in circles for more than four days, picking up the same thirteen things and putting them back. I have no food even though I was grocery shopping last Friday.
There will be other days to reflect on how fleeting the time is, how quickly they will grow and leave me a house that is more silent than chaotic. Today there is only pure joy that the teachers I love are waiting for my children to take their seats, bark out their times tables, snap-clap through Zoo Phonics. Be the good citizens and delightful ladies I know they can be.
I will come home, maybe I will do the dishes, more likely I will sit in this very chair, at this very desk. I will do the work I am paid to do but that means not nearly as much as being the mom. I will shush and console the woman whose husband died and whose claim I am handling. I will shout to be heard for a ninety year old man and his Model A. Gladly, GLADLY, I will review internal reports and make recommendations.
Because it will be quiet at my house today! Nothing but the pitter patter of cat feet, the occasional hiss….
Shhhhh, can you hear that? Neither can I.