Thank you, thank you to all of Kaia’s tooth well wishers…I can’t stop looking at it and as I said yesterday, I think she is getting kind of annoyed with me. We also, through the extremely generous (and unsolicited) donations of my mom and her hubby and my grandma and grandpa were able to buy a new bed last night!! My back does not hurt, I am happy to say, and I did not wake up 15 times during the night trying to get comfortable. I snoozed long and deep and comfortably. But get this, I have inherited a guilt complex. It is probably generations old on my mother’s side, but I apparently have the gene. Here is my latest reason for feeling guilty:
We were given more money for the bed than we actually spent. But Art Van was WAY WAY WAY too expensive and the other beds we looked at all had the pillow tops. I know the “latest” news is that sleeping on a softer, rather than firmer, bed is better for an achy back (Casey) but we just disagree. Our other bed was too soft and he managed to create a sink hole on his side that I invariably rolled into every night. The pillow tops were just too soft (I feel like Goldilocks, ha ha), and anything that was not a pillow top was too expensive. Plus I have read that pillow tops trap more dust and allergens and that over time they, well, they lose their pillow. So we bought one that is very firm and looks like a mattress you find at summer camp. That is why I feel bad, like we should have bought something expensive, but that we didn’t like, just to use all the money. I was able to get new sheets (like my mama told me to) and I still have cash left over. What bugs me is that I feel like I should give it back. I don’t know what to do. I guess I will have to wait to talk to my mom since it was her mom (and my mom) that donated in the first place and just see what she thinks I should do. I have a sneaking suspicion that she will just say, “use it for bills” which is kind of what one side of me hopes because we really really could, but I guess I would feel guilty still. So I am just waiting waiting for my mother to call me and tell me what her mother would want me to do….
Anyway, tonight is my last night of play practice for awhile, I still have not quite figured out how to tell someone this so they aren’t looking for me on Monday. I’m just such a chicken when it comes to confrontation plus I feel guilty for not wanting to volunteer for a while (there I go again, see, I am neurotic!)…..GRRR. Tomorrow is supposed to be very nice up here, 65 and sunny, so maybe we can do something fun. Casey’s mom and dad are coming on Sunday to see Kaia and Casey is excited to use his new grill (thanks dad and val!)….(see how my family takes care of us? its so nice, and Amy and Jared, you can’t be mad because I didn’t go to college so they didn’t have the opportunity to help with books and car insurance, etc (and there I go feeling guilty again for accepting the good will of our parents, what is wrong with me??!) ). So anyway, now that I have COMPLETELY bared my insecure, guilt ridden (where’s Jared when I need him? ‘bless me father, for I have sinned’) soul I will fold my new sheets and bleach my bath mats and towels…. ahhh the beauty of white white white.
I hope you all have a great weekend!
PS: My mother just called and said that my guilt is not healthy guilt and that I should let it go. She said they gave us the money to buy a bed with and they wanted us to get what we wanted not what they wanted for us. She said to go buy more sheets, good ones that will stand up to several washings, or maybe something pretty for my house. So I’m glad now that I talked to her because from the time we got the bed home until just now I’ve been feeling bad and thinking “what is my mother going to think when she sees that I have bought a summer camp mattress with all the money instead of something else” but she assures me that she and grandma both just want for Casey and I to be happy with what we purchased and to sleep comfortably and they don’t care that we didn’t use all the money they gave us…So now I feel better. Phew.