Well. On Friday I attended an enlightening WIC nutrition class. They had a nice old volunteer lady to play with the kids next door, and there were four of us in the “class”. One looked rough, the kind of girl you wouldn’t want to accidentally bump into, she had two little boys. The next lady was a big lady, well actually, she probably wasn’t more than 23 or so. She had a two year old who could not go play with the other kids because his asthma was really acting up and he could “barely breathe!’…so he stayed in and proceeded to climb a chair and crawl the length of the table, several times. His mom just sits there and watches and the teacher, Bonnie (have I mentioned my name is Bonnie, hello everyone, I’m bonnie, my name is Bonnie, did I mention that?) kept having to remove him from the table. When he could not crawl on the table he settled for standing on a chair, which made Bonnie (I said my name was Bonnie, right?) very nervous. Finally she moved every chair away from the table and turned them so they were facing the wall in an effort to keep this kid, who seemed fine, off of them. The next lady was a 40-ish lady with four kids, the type that is constantly tossing in her encouraging two cents and endlesslessy mmm-ing and uh-huh-ing and well that makes a lot of sense-ing and what a wonderful idea-ing…nodding her head all the time. The last lady was a normal one like me (hard to come by in the WIC office, no offense) and she had a nine month old on her lap and two other kids at home. So we begin discussing fat, as in, “you are smarter than fat and fat cells!” when the big girl with busy boy breaks in. “Yeah, I bought some tofu because it is so much cheaper than cheese. But I don’t know how to do anything with it, I heard you can deep fry it….(yes in the middle of our outsmart fat discussion)…do you know any recipes for tofu?”  And she meant that personally, like she wanted Bonnie the teacher to tell her right there what to do with tofu. Bonnie says, I don’t know how to cook with tofu, I’ve never used it before. Does anyone else have any ideas? Of course, no one does. So what do I say in a moment of extreme insanity? “If you give me your address I can get some online and mail them to you” WHAT?! WHAT?! Did that just come out of my mouth?! Yep, it did, because big girl said she can’t go to the library because they always ask her to leave because “as they say, my child is out of control” (insert yeah right type eye roll)….And Bonnie says, Alicia (she’s big on using names), Alicia, where do you get your recipes on the world wide web? Yes, she keeps calling it the world wide web, and I keep expecting her to say a web address after it to kinda complete her sentence…I say, umm, campbells.com, tyson.com, quickcooking.com, tatseofhome.com….there are a plethora of sites out there for recipes. She says (I kid you not), a what? I say, plethora, there are many many sites. So then the lady comes in the room with coupons, we sign for them, and we leave. Tell me why that is called a class. Tell me why I wasted an hour of my life driving there, sitting there for 20 minutes in what seemed like the twilight zone, and then driving home. Why?!

Anyway….then I go to WalMart to get formula because, heck, if I don’t have to pay for it why would I? Wal Mart has always accepted WIC, the baby is crying the whole time we’re in the store….so I get up to the register and as she’s ringing up my formula I give her the coupon. She says, we don’t accept wic. I say, since when? So then she yells across the store, HEY YAVONDA, WE DON’T TAKE WIC DO WE? I am fine with the fact that a part of my life is funded by the government. I have paid my taxes for all these many years, I am simply taking advantage of something I am eligible for. Still, it can be embarassing when the whole store is staring at you and muttering while three children jump around in your cart. I am then surrounded by Wal Mart employees chanting, we don’t take wic, we don’t take wic…I seriously wanted to throw a can of that formula at someone. I am so mad at this point (baby STILL crying) I say, forget it then, just forget it, in my meanest tone. She says, do you want this other stuff? I mean to say no and say yes. She rings it up and I hand her my card, she says debit or credit…well it can not be used as a debit card so I say credit. She says, pin number? I say, I don’t have one, its a credit card, she then raises her voice at me and says, well you said debit so which is it? I say, no I said credit, please ring through again, she says, well I guess I’ll have to! GEEZ! At this point I am almost in tears, Kaia is still crying and after every particularly loud wail one of the twins says in a loud, stern voice, KAAIIIAAAA! We get in the car, and I don’t go out to the light like someone who lives here I go out the damned tourist entrance and am sitting there for like ten minutes. The light on the right turns green when the one on the left turned red and vice versa, there is always traffic from one direction. The guy behind backs up and gets in the right hand turn lane, and there is my opening!! I go, and almost hit the guy who had been behind me but was actually cutting in front of, he flips me off, like I did something wrong! I am stuck for another five minutes and at this point I am crying. I go to Subway to get Casey some lunch as previously planned, I wait in line and they don’t take credit cards, no she does not know where an ATM would be. I give up, drive to Ersco and cry and cry and Casey feels bad (and probably wants me out the parking lot packed with his work buddies and my wailing) so he drives us away….LONG DAY!!

The rest of the weekend was nice, we picked out a TV and now I just have one more place to compare the price we got. I still can’t talk about the hope at the eleventh hour thing, don’t wanna jinx it. I should go check on Kaia, who has miraculously started to pull into a standing position using anything that will hold still for five seconds! She climbed three stairs, too! All of a sudden she’s Miss Mobility and I  am beside myself and chasing her around….grrr. I hope you all have a great day!


6 thoughts on “

  1. You poor thing! What a day that was!!! But you lived through it! I hope you had a wonderful weekend and don’t have another day like Friday- ever! Happy Valentines Day!!!

  2. yikes. Nice to know that government funding(re: the useless class–) is as usual getting lots of bang for its buck. Also, I am sure I have seen the WIC sign in the Walmart I sometimes go to. The ‘big lady’ with the ‘lively’ kid–probably attending asthma education classes (funded by taxes–) with equal success. Fried tofu? Why bother? Awwwwwww–I hope your Valentines Day turns out much better. (my daughters dance was wonderful, her hair worth every penny–I am going to ask her how to post pics, since I don’t have xanga premium, I have to find another photo host.)

  3. Kiki, my Bird’s mumma, you should compile these not-so-funny-they-are-funny-real-life happenings into a book on life and/or motherhood. We’ve all had days like that and it helps us feel normal when we find out others do too.
    If you write a book,  I will buy it!

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