Grr. Why can I not find a bra that will fit me? It seemed like everything I tried on was either too big in the cups or too tight around.The fitting room lady would not let me take the kids into the handicap room so there they are, standing in the corridor while every 5 seconds I’m going “are you all there? are you all ok?”  Seriously, I tried on at least 15. I finally settled on two that just fit on the last hooks, sure hope they don’t shrink! One was an Olga for only $5 and the other one was a, get this, Delta Burke. Who knew Delta had her own line of lingerie?? That was was $5.99 so I did pretty darn well I think. Plus it will tickle me for days, I will walk round in my Delta bra chanting “delta burke bra” under my breath….lol.

The girls did really well, they were just starting to get antsy when we left. We had lunch in the food court, egg drop soup for them and sweet and sour chicken for me. Then of course we had to ride the carousel. It was Kaia’s first time and she didn’t seem to mind. I had to stand as all the benches were taken and Mina and Margo kept saying “don’t hold down my horse, let go my horse!” but of course I couldn’t or I would have gone tumbling off into the great beyond.

Now they are having quiet time and Kaia is getting into things. Just in the last few days she has become so interested in everything that is NOT hers. If its not the VCR its the magazines or the remote or the phone or the blinds or the actual windows. I guess the windows probably feel good on her cheek because they’re cold. Anyway, soon I will be done for the weekend and go grocery shopping and shoe shopping. Tomorrow we might go to the museum and are absolutely going to the library as my mind is becoming a stagnant pool of letters and symbols…I NEED A BOOK!

Also, I was going to say, I get American Baby magazine (for some unkown reason as I have never ordered it and do not pay for it) and there was a surprisingly realistic op/ed piece in there. It was about the first six weeks (or six months if you happen to be me) of life with your first baby. And the author wanted to know why we all lie to each other and say its the most wonderful time, I love being a mom, blah blah blah, when all we really want is an hour’s peace and a two week nap. I just thought it was interesting to hear someone speak the truth, because NO, being a mother is not always great, its not even great 80%  of the time. What it is is work and frustration and stress and basically, letting yourself and your own needs die for someone else, because suddenly this little baby has to come first. And I guess somewhere along the way it sneaks up on you that you don’t really resent the baby, but you love her. And that realization will throw anyone for a loop. Now I’m a selfish person and for me thats hard! I love my child, I do, I look at her sometimes and am so full of love that it just makes me ache, but ya know, there are times when I could do without her for a few hours. Anyway, I think you mom’s out there will know what I mean when I say it was refreshing to not hear the usual sickly sweet patter about being a new mom, but to hear a realistic point of view.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!


10 thoughts on “

  1. I agree 100 percent!Thats really rude of that lady to not allow you to use the bigger dressing room.  I used to go into Victoria Secrets and brestfeed in the changing rooms.  They were always so kind to let me use the bigger one.  Oh well.  Im glad your feeling more comfortable with your bra.  I need new ones desperately.  Im just lazy.

  2. As I was reading your post, I found myself nodding in agreement.  Yes, bras that fit correctly are definitely hard to find!!!!  My son enjoys the Carousel too.  I’m a big kid myself, I guess, because I actually get on the horse.  Oprah once did an episode about how hard being a mother is.  No, it is definitely not glamorous!!!  It’s nice to hear that fact being validated!!!!  Anyway, 3 cheers for motherhood!!!!!!

  3. Motherhood is lovely when one is looking back and remembering the wonderful and not the reality of how it was! For me, being a mother is the hardest and the best thing I’ve ever done all rolled into one package. It always chokes me up when I see the little plaque that says when you have a baby you realize that your heart will live outside your body forever–that makes one vulnerable, doesn’t it?…
    But I remember thinking I’d never be done washing and matching a gazillion little socks, thinking I’d never be able to read a book in peace, or go to the bathroom without someone coming in or talking to me outside the door, or hear an entire sermon, or that there would always be toys on the floor, and being perpetually exhausted. Really, I do remember.
    Now, those days are forever gone for me and I’m in a different season. I’m thankful for the best advice my mother ever gave me–the years the kids would be little were short and precious. to write many many moments on my heart and know that the times of exhaustion and frustration would pass. It helped me keep perspective and I have more moments written on my heart than I could ever write.
    Alicia Kay, do you know what I would give to hold your sweet child body to my heart just one more time?
    As gsmommy said, Nope, motherhood is not glamourous, but I’d like to add that the hand that rocks the cradle does rule the world. You young mommies that are reading this, know how much your sacrifices and smiling faces and consistent discipline mean!! It’s the best and the hardest job you will ever have……..

  4. I am guessing that the above entry must be from your mom…it moved me to tears when she wrote how much she would give to hold you as a child one more time. My own mother passed away two years ago and I have been doing so much thinking about the tangled weave between mother and child since then. Especially as my beautiful firstborn baby starts to go out of my nest, as she begins to find ways to be angry with me in order to separate from her father and I–to grow up. I am kind of lucky, I guess–my youngest at still not quite five(how old that must seem to you with your little Kaia!!) is my most affectionate child and I don’t quite have empty arms. But my daughter and even my eight year old boy pull away now, and it is as your mom said…you miss those little bodies. It is so hard to hear this though when you are still connected by breastfeeding and the constant physical care of a baby. (the emotional care of a teen…now that is another story, lol.)It is so hard, but know that the sheer exhaustion gets much easier on you. Try to cherish your baby, but still give yourself some alone time. Because suddenly you are giving your big girl driving lessons and sending her off to a high school dance!! Have a great weekend!!

  5. I hate bras. It doesn’t help that I change cup size so often it isn’t even worth buying them (although I have to have atleast one). My kids are two years apart so I am a different size when I am pregnant, while the baby is nursing and they reduce to nothing for the short time between each kid-lol!! Oh, and the baby thing. I love the first 6months, actually I love babies till they become mobile. By the time they learn to crawl they have learned to have little attitudes and how to minipulate the system. That would be why my In home Day Care is primarily new borns. But I did not say they were easy. I hope you had a great weekend, from what I read you were busy! Here is to a great Monday, which is a new count down to another wonderful weekend!!!!

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